Christine Smith's Blog

A Photo & Prose Tribute in Gratitude to My Father

This Thanksgiving I share a piece I’ve written honoring my father, whom I am most grateful for. He has been a wonderful loving father to me for many years, a blessing, a gift from God.

I went through our family photo albums, in addition to recalling memories from my childhood, writing this piece for him (and have invited him to visit my blog on Thanksgiving, telling him I wrote something about him). I have received comments from a few saying my recollections about my father raising me could easily be crafted into a book. I don’t know, but I do know that as I wrote this, many more events and experiences came to mind. Whenever I’ve mentioned memories, he seems surprised I can remember my childhood so well, and I always say “Of course, I do!” So, I look forward to his reading and viewing this special tribute I write in gratitude to him:

The most influential person in my life has been my father.

A single father to a little girl (he raised me from the age of 3), I likely would not be who I am – character, integrity, love of truth – if not for his loving guidance and support throughout my life. Intellectually, emotionally, spiritually and physically – the priorities I focus upon developing in my life have all been deeply influenced by him. I know true love can exist because of him.

I wouldn’t possess the strength and fortitude I have if not for him. For unlike other little girls, I was raised with a competitive spirit. Whether a physical sport such as volleyball or basketball – or an intellectually challenging activity such as chess – I wanted to win!

I always felt different from other girls growing up because from an early age they acted so much different from me. I can remember being in pre-school, after nap time, we’d all run to the play stations trying to get the one we wanted. I’d run to the vehicles and building toys, other girls ran off to the more play house toys. I didn’t want to play house, I wanted to have adventures!

I was used to my father communicating with me all the time, and when he spoke with me he would explain the reasons behind things. He never spoke to me any differently than he did to anyone else. When I was little, he didn’t change his voice or condescend to me. He was always willing to logically speak with me so I could understand the world around me. Because of this, I didn’t like it when other adults (usually women) would change their voice to some high pitched false sounding voice when they talked to me. I found it to be patronizing and strange. I became a child who would frown and say nothing to anyone who didn’t talk to me in a normal voice. I still remember clerks in grocery stores trying to talk to me in their false voices, and I would just stare them in the face with a pout, thinking to myself “What is wrong with that woman?!”

My father would explain to me it was the way many adults talked to children, assuming they had to be spoken to like a cartoon voice. And I remember telling my father, “Well, I don’t like it. If they can’t talk to me normal, then I will not talk to them.”

At home, my yard became the playground of the neighborhood. My father built all sorts of games and playthings, giving children of all ages great activities to do. We had a jogging track (my father would have us compete against one another and ourselves, keeping track of our times with his stopwatch) which was lit at night by lights he installed, a volleyball court, badminton, and lots of other creative inventions we could play on. One such we called “The Boards.” It was made of wood (lumber my father had arranged and built together between trees creating a huge climbing paradise) and became the place we played tag on as it was far more exciting and challenging being up in the air playing the game.

Another of his creations we called “The Tires.” Yes, it’s just what you guessed – a huge expanse of precisely placed tires (the huge ones from big trucks!), painted with colorful polka dots, on which we jumped from one to one – again playing tag.

So many wanted to play at our yard, that it became impractical to telephone all my friends. So my father got me a cow bell which was so very loud! I’d ring it, and everyone would come a running over. Hot days meant “Polar Water” for everyone (iced water which my father had added a drop or two of blue food coloring to). Somehow it tasted more refreshing!

The competitive spirit amongst the whole suburban neighborhood was brought out when it was a day my father would join us with his bag of prizes – giving winners a choice of treats such as sealed snack cakes and candy bars. When I was littler, there were plenty of activities for those of my age, as well as sporting competitions for the older children and teens who were often the siblings of my best friends.

Ever since I remember, my father had made physical fitness a priority, always telling me that if one’s body was strong, it made one that much more capable of feeling well to most effectively use their mind. He would put his favorite music on, and lift his barbells and ride his stationary cycle in the front yard when weather was favorable. By his example of regular exercise, I developed a desire to stay physically fit and he gave me my own equipment. Granted, all my playing kept me very healthy, but as I grew into my teen years, I began a regular exercise regimen not only of jogging and other aerobic exercise, but also weightlifting.

My father instilled in me a deep appreciation for intellectual pursuits just by him being him. He loved chess and was an avid reader of world history, spirituality and faith. Some of my fondest memories from my earliest years are of visiting the library which became (and still is) one of my favorite places.

But life wasn’t just about games and competition, it was about genuine empathy that to this day when I see evidenced by a parent to a child I am filled with joyful appreciation. Take for instance the time my baby doll’s eye came out. As a toddler, I was very rough with my baby doll. Thus the reason the spirit of this baby doll had to every few years enter a new body come Christmas time; same name and same spirit but a new body as the old one worn out. My father assured me it was still the baby I loved and knew even if it looked different. But one time, months away from Christmas, my doll’s eye was just gone! I was franticly upset. Father took my little one for a short time, and returned it bandaged with tape, saying healing would take place but I must be patient and not worry. Within a few weeks, I awoke one morning to my “healed” child sitting on a chair in front of my bed. Not only a new eye, but a new body.

While a child, on my birthday, I’d come home from school to find all my dolls and stuffed animals crowded around the table waiting for me to open my gifts.

My father also did all the cooking. I grew up on macaroni and cheese I’ve often said (an exaggeration, of course, but it was my favorite!). I still remember his excellent home baked cornbread with mustard greens. He never read a cookbook, but learned by trial and error. In all my years, I’ve never been able to duplicate his cheese cornbread. It was the tastiest I’ve ever had. I remember only a few “errors” such as the time he purchased mushrooms and boiled them turning them into rubber. Or the time he mistakenly added way too much red pepper flakes to a pot of macaroni and cheese; it was so hot neither of us could eat it (he offered it to Princess, our German Shepherd, and she took one bite and immediately jumped back from it!)

But as I grew, I taught myself to cook (with some encouragement from my visiting grandma). Now he reaped the rewards of all his cooking, as I had grown into a young chef capable of preparing meals with several foods on the plate and always followed by dessert. My specialties included homemade lemon meringue pie, cream puffs, deep dish pizza, casseroles, scalloped potatoes, many main dishes cooking vegetables and meats in ways we never had unless in a restaurant (including sauteed mushrooms). I loved cooking and did it well. From that point onward, Father never entered the kitchen! But still I remember the time I boiled my first pot of water. Father was sitting in the living room watching television, interrupted constantly by me as I literally got worried whether it would ever boil.

I attribute my political interest and aptitude with my early experiences of watching and participating in local campaigns. It’s not too many fourteen year-olds who stage a small teen political rally for a candidate. Throughout my teens, I went door to door with campaign literature and began writing letters to the editor. My father emphasized I think for myself. Research, then take action, for politics affects our lives. Anything that troubled me going on in the world, I learned to analyze and decide what could I do that would make a difference. If I ever complained about something, my father would suggest I think of something I can do about it rather than just talk. That stuck with me!

No matter what interests became a part of my life from a menagerie of animal companions, to my environmental concerns, my father blessed me with assistance so I could pursue them. Gifts such as a magazine subscription about my environmental concern and wanting to lean to be an activist, to a gift of a bale of hay for the cavys (the guinea pigs I bred), everything he did showed he wanted me to be happy. Interests such as acting and singing were supported, as I began to share my aptitudes with the world through talent shows and even being invited to appear on a local tv show. A phrase I heard repeatedly from him over the years: “Practice is the price of proficiency.”

Throughout my life, and what I value most, is my father always being willing to communicate with me. Truth has become my highest priority in life, because I know firsthand that when any two are dedicated to the truth, peace will come of any situation. No matter if it were trials in my life growing up, the teenage years , or early adulthood, the one person I could always talk to was my father. He did not judge me, condemn me, or ridicule the matters which were so important to me. He used all my experiences to help me understand the bigger life lessons which stay with me now. I think his wisdom and being someone I could discuss anything with, including peers and their activities, helped me avoid the serious mistakes some acquaintances and friends of mine made. Likewise, he was unafraid to share his deepest feelings and memories with me, even having the strength to admit mistakes and to cry. I became wiser beyond my years for which I am grateful, avoiding major mistakes, and learning correct lessons from ones I did make.

An iconoclast, he did what pleased him. He never was a conformist, and neither am I.

In spite of the difficulties he must have faced being a single father, he ensured I was well cared for, providing for a good nurturing home for me to grow up in. As an adult, I look back on how he made sure I was educated well, among others who could provide a safe environment whenever he couldn’t be there, and instilled a ‘you can do anything you want to do in life’ attitude in me.

Frankly, and as objective as I can try to be, I am still mighty different from other women; others often underestimate me due to my petite appearance and cheerful personality.

I’m feminine yet very strong in spirit and mind – capable of fighting worthy battles when need be. Courage I value, and I most admire those whose righteous indignation guide their mind into actions which help others. In every battle I’ve been involved in (humanitarian work nationwide & politically), I always recall my father’s encouraging me to follow my heart and to never let what others think stand in the way of doing what is right. He assured me from the youngest age that no matter what I chose to do in life, his love would be there. Never did I feel like I had to please a parent in any choice I made.  I’ve always known I can follow my dreams, and his love will be there with me.

Even when we differed on matters, I knew I could be me. If I was being true to myself, his support was there. What is most wonderful, too, is his reflection to me that he has learned much from me, and that he continues to do so – from politics to discussions of our spiritual beliefs – we share with one another what we have learned, contemplate, and believe. Knowing that we have been a teacher to one another means much to me, in view of the deep appreciation I have for his years of teaching and guiding me so that I could grow up to be the individual I am.

This acceptance of the unique individual I am extends to today; I know that no matter what I choose to do in life, as long as I’m happy, he is happy.

And I am happy. I have always been happy. I live in the present moment, taking no thought for where my life path will take me. I pray for guidance; I possess a deep desire to help; and feel strong and confident in life. Whatever or whomever God may bring into my life, I’ve learned the most important thing in life: True love is possible. Love is the answer. In all situations, love is the answer. It simply requires a commitment to truth, peace will come, all else such as communication and understanding will follow. And I’ve learned important character traits I need to cultivate for my life (and the traits of character I most value in another) as exemplified from the most important man in my life: my father.

My father is a mountain man. Quiet, soft spoken, contemplative, a recluse. He appreciates classical music, a whiskey after dinner, reading, and most of all living in solitude in the mountains. (He is an avid mountain climber and backpacker.) As he has gotten older, he has become more reclusive, happy in his mountain cabin, content to have nothing (or as minimally as possible) to do with the outside world.

A daughter couldn’t have had a better father. I have been blessed, and I am grateful.

(You may visit my father’s webpage.)

Of Faith, Freedom & First Thanksgivings

In first grade, as a pilgrim (I’m the little girl in the front & center in checkered dress) offering a Thanksgiving prayer.

As for me, I am deeply grateful for the abundant blessings I have been given. Looking back on my life, I now see how times and experiences which were difficult, ultimately led to my good. This instills a trust in me, a peace, not dependent on circumstances…it is of faith. For me, Thanksgiving Day is as Christmas is to me, not a single day…but a way of life, a state of my heart.

My wish for you: May you recognize the great gifts, often in the form of other human beings, who have graced your life. Be they friends or family, there are those who have chosen to express love to you in ways that have encouraged and inspired. Remember them, and when possible, tell them. And, may you also recognize the incredible beauty of the natural world which is all around you. Taking time to see the blessings of other individuals, and of the earth, requires solitude to contemplate and ponder their significance in your life. I hope you take time to consciously do this.

Let us also be encouraged that history has shown that the spirit of man moves toward individual liberty, no matter of state power and its evil oppression, the human spirit endures. Freedom will always prevail.

I share a few articles I’ve found interesting to read and thoughts as Thanksgiving Day approaches.

As to the event traditionally observed, a beautiful quote:
William Bradford, Puritan Governor, (as quoted in The Light and the Glory),” As one small candle may light a thousand, so the light kindled here has shown unto many, yea in some sort to our whole nation…We have noted these things so that you might see their worth and not negligently lose what your fathers have obtained with so much hardship.”

A friend loaned me her copy of “The Light and the Glory (Did God have a plan for America?)” by Peter Marshall and David Manuel. It is an excellent narrative of the struggles the Puritans faced. This book provides much a insight into the beginnings of our nation as it is largely based upon the actual writings/diaries of the early settlers starting with the arduous trip here. The struggles and hardships, as well as the successes, are most interesting to read in their own words. The death rates, starvation, sickness, and all the while their concern for their spiritual well being, are shared. Whether a believer or not, I think readers gain much interesting information and knowledge in this book.

It was only a year or two ago that I read from Bradford’s writings, as it was linked from a most interesting article about the real story behind the one most oft told of Thanksgiving. As it was new to me then, and certainly does not appear to be widely taught and shared, I highly recommend the following two articles, and Bradford’s writing, to my blog readers:

The Great Thanksgiving Hoax
by Richard J. Maybury

The Real Meaning of Thanksgiving: The Triumph of Capitalism over Collectivism
by Richard M. Ebeling

And, during this Thanksgiving season, you might, too, find William Bradford’s History of Plymouth Plantation of interest (reading from his original text is fascinating), the Charles Deane copy is available to read online at Google. See page 134 for the account of the wise decision to give each their own land so they could keep the rewards of their work (rather than sharing land and crops in common).

If only the truth as related in the above two articles was widespread (sure wasn’t taught in schools I attended…but imagine, if it were today.) I recommend that those who seek to communicate what liberty really means with others share links to articles such as those by Maybury and Eberling with others this season. It is a great opportunity to illustrate the blessings of freedom versus the failure of collectivism/socialism with our own history of Thanksgiving.

As for “First Thanksgivings?” you ask, well, it’s all a matter of whose venture into this land you wish to focus upon. Three years ago, I wrote a short piece about that topic (it’s brief, so details of these stories is something I recommend you research further). You may read that 2005 article I wrote (cached) here.

One need not be Protestant to appreciate the celebration of a grateful spirit. My Catholic parish not only has Mass, but prepares a dinner for the entire community to attend! Gratitude for one’s blessings, a genuine wanting to be of service to others, and gathering and appreciation for friends and family, is a universal experience.

Another two interesting articles (which may be of particular interest to fellow Catholics & those interested in our nation’s history):

Is “Thanksgiving” Catholic?
By Taylor Marshall

and an informative piece about Don Juan de Oñate:
The First Thanksgiving Was Catholic
Marian T. Horvat, Ph.D.

(For Thanksgiving, I have also posted a blog entry, a Photo & Prose Tribute in Gratitude to My Father, which I invite you to read.)

The JFK Assassination – My Interviews with Witnesses

First person accounts from Hugh Aynesworth (investigative journalist), Bob Jackson (Pulitzer winning photographer of Oswald gunned down by Jack Ruby); and others including Bob Porter about the JFK assassination, Lee Harvey Oswald and Ruby.

My article shares their first person accounts of and surrounding that day in Dallas 45 years ago.

You may read my previous article here.

No Hope for Change This Veterans Day

When I visited the Vietnam Veterans War Memorial earlier this year, I was overcome with a deep sadness.  Never in my life have I been emotionally affected by simply visiting a place, and I would never have anticipated I would react as I did.  But there I found myself in tears as I walked along the lit wall that night with two friends, deeply affected by the over 58,000 inscribed names of American men and women who needlessly died in Vietnam. 

And the sadness continues as I realize that the U.S. government has learned nothing from Korea or Vietnam. But, once again on Veterans Day, the president will affect a manner of respectful solemnity as he addresses the American people and world, doing the job our “leaders” excel at: manipulating the emotions of the people with deception so that they equate needless conflicts with defense of America. 

Prepare to hear words from the White House utterly void of sincerity and meaning.  Bush will again mouth words of peace, and heap praise and honor upon those who have fallen or have been wounded in military service in years past and present.  But I do not believe Bush will be truthful in any of the fine words he speaks today, for his actions have spoken louder than any words he could possibly say.  The same goes for past presidents on this day of remembrance, whom voiced the sentiments of empathy, yet whose deeds were the cause of the death and suffering they would have us believe they feel sympathy for.

Bush will likely speak of all those who have risked their lives “for our freedoms,” those who have fought “the enemy, ” and “served our country.”  He will speak of all his administration has done to help the wounded and even the homeless among our veterans.  He will reverently speak of those who paid the ultimate sacrifice.  But what he will not do is take responsibility for forcing those in the military to serve him and his whims rather than national security.  Bush is the one with blood on his hands, and his speech on Veterans Day does not wipe them clean in the eyes of America or the world. 

He will speak of the current struggle of which he will mean his “war on terror.”  It will not be the real struggle: a nation grappling with the realization that our military men and women are not dying protecting our nation.  Americans are a people slowly acknowledging that our military men and women are merely pawns to be slaughtered in a game, a deadly political game of geopolitical control of resources which has nothing to do with preserving the freedom of this nation.  Americans are beginning to stop their blind acceptance of  lies from the White House, and instead are seeing the truth: this government places its power over other sovereign nations and control of their resources above the lives of its military.  It is a government which calculatingly uses the cause of “national security” to enrich themselves and subjugate others. 

Bush will likely claim that war came to our shores on Sept. 11, 2001, when in reality no war came here.  What we suffered was a relatively small retaliation for the death and destruction the U.S. government has dealt the world and its citizens, and for which some vengeful criminals decided to seek retribution for by committing their heinous act of murder upon our innocent citizens.  Unjustified and evil as that attack was, Bush will fail to mention that the original and continued aggressor in his “war on terror” is the United States with its over 700 bases in some 130 nations.  Such militarism and empire building has nothing whatsoever to do with “security” but with conquest. It is the primary cause of the hatred expressed toward us.

Bush may speak of al Qaeda, perhaps of “Islamo-fascism,” and others he will accuse of brutality, while contrasting their ideology with a vision he claims to have of peace, liberty, prosperity. But the U.S. government differs not from those extremist groups who use violence to further their causes, for ours is a government which also uses unjustified violence or the intimidating threat thereof to advance its agenda.

He may speak of such groups as wanting to end our influence in the Middle East – and on that one he’s right.  Of course they want to end our influence, because we have no right to be there as a military force. 

Bush will likely conclude his Veterans Day address defending his actions as heroic and freedom-loving, straining to correlate the natural American empathy for our veterans into an empathy for him and his policies.  He will likely use God’s name repeatedly for blessings upon our veterans and our nation, forgetting that blessings of the God he self-righteously speaks of are said to be bestowed upon those who are faithful to his Word, of which not killing innocent people is fundamental.

Veterans Day has always been a day of significance to me; a day in which I express and feel gratitude to those who have served in the past for righteousness sake.  Many of those who have served have done so for the best of reasons and intentions, hoping it was indeed for freedom, and this is what makes our government’s misuse of the military so disgusting.  Those who would exploit people’s lives for their gain are those with the power in this nation.

This government kills indiscriminately, using deception and fear, to justify its actions regardless of the civilian deaths it causes.  The United States, thanks to its government, has become like the rogue states it takes pride in condemning. 

Our military is not used to defend our freedom any longer, it is used to enforce an evil interventionist foreign policy. Veterans from our current unjustified military operations are responsible as well.  One cannot escape personal responsibility for the evil one does simply because they wear a uniform while committing it.  One of conscience refuses to participate in actions they know to be wrong.  And being part of the invading occupying force is wrong.  The collective a soldier is part of,  whether they consider it the military or the government which controls it, does not absolve one of the personal responsibility for those they unjustifiably harmed.

Do not be in denial this Veterans Day.  Lest we forget or conveniently ignore, it is estimated that upwards of 88,000 (estimates vary but there is no dispute the deaths are in the tens of thousands if not more) Iraqi civilians are dead due to the violence our military has perpetrated.  Then there are the thousands of civilians killed from US air strikes in Afghanistan beginning in 2001, and the hundreds or thousands more dead in the years since.  Are such innocent civilians killed by our missiles and bombs just “collateral damage” or are they tragedies to be mourned? As far as I’m concerned, all deaths resulting from US imperialism are a tragic waste of human life.

To get a feel for just how many US troops and bases we have (officially) worldwide, take a look at this map. These bases are maintained solely for U.S. dominance.  But I do believe this empire will eventually end.  The choice is between ending it voluntarily by choosing peace and bringing our troops home from all over the world, or its demise out of necessity from economic and human suffering in America.  Unfortunately,  it appears it will be the latter way.  Meanwhile, as the recruiters hit our campuses looking for more bodies for the nation’s largest employer,The Department of Defense, others, too, are recruited worldwide to defend the sovereignty of their nations.  And to the glee of the U.S. government, their “war on terror” continues.

A respectful commemoration of Veterans Day would be one in which Bush of course recognized those who have truly died and suffered for our freedom, and it would require an apology to those veterans (and their families) whose lives were risked and sacrificed not for freedom  but who were put into a situation in which they must choose between obeying orders or being persecuted with prosecution if they refused to participate in unconstitutional wars.  And an apology for the needless deaths and the dire suffering and destruction  wrought worldwide which the U.S. government is responsible for would certainly be in order as well. 

As loved ones of husbands, wives, sons, daughters, grandparents and other family and friends are remembered this Veterans Day, and as thousands of veterans suffer from horrible physical, mental and emotional anguish from their military service, I have no hope that one year from now that more American men and women will not have been lost and suffered life changing injuries – sadly not in defense of freedom – but for an immoral and unethical political agenda of empire building.

I am glad this will be one of the last addresses Bush gives as president.  Good riddance.  But I have no illusions.  To avoid collapse of America as we know it, changes to foreign policy should be immediate – not gradual.  As a libertarian, I oppose the use of the US military for so called peacekeeping, nation building, humanitarian foreign aid, or war fighting unless in direct defense of our nation’s soil and our waters.  To save lives, rather than a “liberation” of Iraq, the world needs liberation from American imperialism.

Our next president, Obama, I believe will do nothing of significance toward that worthy mission. His foreign policy, packaged in a more sanitized smooth style,  will not bring peace or prosperity to America or the world. It will continue the brutality.  In my opinion it will be a policy of war continued with our forces in Iraq for years, and warmongering in Afghanistan and Pakistan, a policy of bombings, sanctions, detention camps and needless continuance of our military presence in nearly every part of the world.  The only difference will be a U.S. president who will be better at trying to clean up our image through token actions and fine words.  But U.S. imperialism will continue unfettered as it has for decades.

Today – Anniversary of the Fall of The Berlin Wall

Today, November 9, 2008, marks the 19th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall.  It serves as a powerful reminder of the power of the human spirit of freedom to prevail against tyranny. 

The stories of resistance and escapes are fascinating.  To see the imagination, courageous determination and heroism of a people against oppression stands to give us hope today.  Tyranny cannot prevail against the human spirit.  It may cause suffering and death with its violent opposition to liberty, but I believe it will always fail.

In my exploration to learn more about its history and collapse, I find it inspires me just as I remember it did in 1989.

I share the following links which I found, along with others, to be informative and interesting:

brief historical summary/timelines/etc.:
http://www.newseum.org/cybernewseum/exhibits/berlin_wall/index.htm

another informative site:
http://history1900s.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailysoft.com%2Fberlinwall%2F

and photo albums:
http://www.mauer.jp/htmls/gallery_e.html

As I consider its demise and all that meant and stands for, I also find myself hoping that the United States is not successful in its building of its own Wall of Shame to stop the free movement of civilians.  

Of course, just as the building of the Berlin Wall was rationalized to the world, if this government does ever complete such a wall on our southern border they will claim it justified for the very same reasons: protection, security, the economy, etc.  And all the “reasons” given are meant to appeal to people’s emotionalism of fear and all the feelings it can cause in them.  

Fear should never do the choosing between right and wrong; fear should never be the basis for any decision in life.  I believe that love (which if truly love, naturally includes a respect for another’s freedom as one respects their own) to be the only consideration in the making of any decision in life.

What Do You Really Want?

“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.” -Henry David Thoreau

A man or woman is not defined by any relationship (or lack thereof) in their life, just as I do not evaluate a person by the type of work they do or the income it may or may not produce. But society does judge people by such things among others, proof that repression and conformity are still quite ingrained in the American psyche.

Frankly, I think society still has much in common with the way it was in the 1950′s. Sure, some of the things men and women “want” may have changed, but the majority of people still sadly base their lives upon what others will think and expect of them. Conformity still rules their lives, and role playing determines decisions. Be it appeasement of relatives’ wishes, keeping up with the neighbors, seeking approval of peers in organizations and groups (being party line driven for example in politics) to the material possessions they select, the mentality to merge into the herd for security and approval still pervades this society.

Both men and women succumb to relinquishment of their own desires in order to get the approval of others. Be it nationalistic pride or simply making sure your clothing style and model of car is up “to par” with your neighbors and peers, many conform to others rather than pleasing themselves. From beliefs to possessions, they try to fit in with everyone else, lest someone consider them “different.” And they make sure they never become ostracized, so independent thought and expression thereof is kept hidden.

This absurd election is a prime example of such conformity. The political conventions, as always, were nothing more than parties. People who couldn’t be there joined in by rooting for their political candidate by watching at home, and attending rallies (like the large one held here in Colorado for Obama). Take a look at the eyes of some of his supporters; you see utter adoration. Of course, that’s what campaigns encourage: Jump on the bandwagon! Get on the winning team! Issues are meaningless. It is a mere beauty contest where substance matters not and image matters most. And people, for the most part, fall for it all. They “feel” good being part of the team with their bumperstickers, signs and t-shirts.

It appears rooting for a political candidate is about the same as rooting for their favorite sports team. Voting, for many, appears less an expression of freedom, and more an action of conformity to whatever group had the most influence on them growing up or the peers they find themselves around now.

Those who are weak seek to fit in with crowds. They need to feel as if they are a part of something greater than themselves. They also wish to avoid anyone accusing them of being different or not normal. They find it easiest to find a group to join and not makes waves. “Worth” is given to their lives when they look around them and hear a crowd chanting the same words. Independent thought is cast aside.

Politics is just one example, but a good one. A place where we see some people so afraid of not being considered “racist” that they support a candidate not for what he stands for but for the fact he is of color. Sounds like “reverse racism,” so to speak. I’ve recently heard several Obama supporters, for example, express great admiration and support for the man- but when simply asked why they are supporting their candidate, they fumbled for words. Ask them to state a few policies they particularly like, and they are speechless. Or, I’ve seen those who support a candidate, McCain for example, out of party loyalty – never mind that they will admit that they think said candidate is a poor reflection of what their political party used to stand for. To vote for someone based on their race, sex, or political party is to succumb to herd mentality.

Many people will support their political party’s ticket regardless of the candidate. For years, I’ve heard that voting party-line trumps voting the individual, perhaps for group thinkers, but never for me. As for the current election, since I believe either man, Obama or McCain, will do considerable evil as president, and I found no third party candidate worthy of my support (write-ins are not accepted on the Colorado ballot for the office of president), I did not cast a vote for president.

Few challenge the “rules” of conformity among groups. Not many want to be the one to say the emperor has no clothes. After all “You just don’t do that!” is an expression I’ve heard throughout my life. But then, I’ve never been a conformist and couldn’t care less of what others think, so when I’ve been told that, it only amuses. Challenging other’s sacred cows [their herd mentality - no pun intended ] by speaking the truth, exposing irrationality or lies, or simply not participating in an activity others put on a pedestal, is second nature to one not playing a role.

But conformity is a something many men and women often succumb to. I am thinking about women in particular because last night I again viewed the film Mona Lisa Smile.

Set in 1953, and on Wellesley College Campus, stories of several young and highly intelligent women illustrate the incredible pressures placed upon them to follow in their mother’s footsteps – putting aside any aspiration to use the education they’ve achieved toward development of a career. It is the arrival of a more free-spirited female art professor which causes the women to question the blind acceptance of the roles they’ve been programmed to play in life.

Interestingly, the professor herself is also caught in a reverse role playing, for rather than follow her heart, she decides (at the expense of a beautiful relationship with her man friend from California) to reject his proposal of marriage – not because she is uninterested – but because it doesn’t fit within the role she’s accepted as being a “free” woman. She destroys the good relationship she had in a stubborn determination not be like the young women around her. Instead of allowing herself to ask what would make her happy, she is most disturbed by the whole idea of marriage, thinking that it would somehow take something away from her. But what?

Could it be “freedom?”

Apparently, that is what she worries, allowing fear thoughts to control her rather than the strength of love which is bold and courageous. Ironically, though intelligent and in many areas of her life defying conformity, the professor permits the weakness of fear (afraid that allowing herself to be in a happy committed relationship would make her less free) to make her conform to a predetermined role – that of a “progressive” woman. And playing that role can lead her to make mistakes just as bad, harmful, and miserable as any role her students have accepted, as the disillusionment of a meaningless relationship later proves.

It’s not “freedom” to for a woman or man to play any role – be it a conventional or unconventional role – to the exclusion of who they really are.

Freedom would have meant an introspective look at what she wanted – that which would really make her happy. It would mean rejecting any preconceived idea of playing any role – even the role she had chosen years before which although contrary to most women – was nevertheless a role being played if it ever contrasted with her happiness and fulfillment. Role playing means you give up personal autonomy and personal responsibility. It necessitates conforming to some outside picture of what you “should” be versus who you truly are.

Freedom doesn’t mean challenging the roles others may expect of you or even what most accept; it means following your inner guidance to fulfill what will make you happy. It might be a decision others approve of or is expected of you, or one which differs. The key is, as an individual, is choosing for yourself.

In today’s society, women enjoy the same freedoms of choice and opportunities as men. (I believe this is largely so, and care not to debate it with feminists.) Thus, if a woman is still role-playing it’s not because they are forced so much to do so because of actual discrimination, but because they decide it’s the easiest path to take to avoid the social disapproval of others. I see such women role players in the world of politics, business, and homes. It’s not a matter of what and where they are, but the reason they are there and the behavior they exhibit. Are their actions coming from their heart, or merely actions meant to achieve approval of others? The answer usually becomes apparent over time.

Men, of course, aren’t immune to the same group thinking, and anytime they make choices (career, relationship, etc.) contrary to their inner wishes and guidance, they, too, bring unhappiness upon themselves. However, in my life, I’ve seen more men who seem to be independent in their thinking, than women.

Politically, 87 women serve in a Congress of 535. The first female Congresswomen was Jeanette Rankin elected in 1916 and again in 1940, a woman who hunted and could take the great outdoors in winter, while at the same time being a good cook as well as seamstress. She led a most active life of among other political achievements (accomplishments regardless of one’s political disagreement or not with) including: voting against America’s entry into WWI and WWII, lobbied for the Sheppard-Towner Act, founding VP of the American Civil Liberties Union, founding member of the Women’s International League for Peace and Freedom,became field secretary of the National American Woman Suffrage Association, spoke against the Korean War, and in 1968 led more than 5,000 women in a march on the Capitol in protest of the Vietnam War (she was 87 years old).

Her work defies public sentiment of those times of what a woman “should do.” Her example proves that the internal elements needed for a woman to “step to the music” she hears is not predicated upon societal approval. It requires strength of character, in short – it takes courage – courage to simply be who you are – not what anyone else on earth expects you to be. If you want to live a life of freedom, you do it, and you fight anyone or any seeming societal barrier standing in the way of the pursuit of your dreams.

Decisions pertaining to one’s work, avocations or relationships are far too important to allow other’s expectations to do the choosing.

One of the most touching scenes in the film Mona Lisa Smile is when one of the highly intelligent young women tells the art professor that by choosing to marry (rather than going to Yale to which she’s been accepted) she is indeed exercising her freewill – for it is the choice she is making which will truly make her happy – it’s what she wants to do. It is a powerful scene as the professor must examine her own weakness of pushing the role she approves of upon another. Likewise, other students determine that following their parent’s will for their lives of marriage is not the right choice for them, but moving to the city, getting an apartment and making their own way. The key to happiness, as the film illustrates, is having the courage to examine oneself and what one really wants to do – not ever doing any action simply to please another’s expectations.

Sadly, I’ve actually met women who are apologetic about being “only” a mother. I am appalled at such talk, but have found it common when I meet others. Here they are doing something requiring complete dedication and devotion, and they speak as if it is “less” than a woman who is pursuing a career and working “out of home.” Likewise, I’ve met women who are so proud of defying conventional female roles that they actually speak apologetically about going into the kitchen when they discover they liked cooking a particular food. Crazy as it sounds, I have heard women speak that way…apologizing for finding cooking enjoyable. This is something I have met several times, and am perplexed at the mindset of apologizing for simply doing that which pleased them.

Life is meant to be lived. Playing any role, rather than being, is easy…but choosing to be who you are, to believe what you feel is true, to do what is right for you, may be hard at times, but it is gratifying. To let your life reflect your deepest desires, to pursue dreams, to believe and base your decisions on that which resonates with you, is freedom.

Living a life of freedom is living a life in truth.

Courage to be exactly who you are, with a smile on your face, and without regard to what anyone else in the world thinks- not your relatives, friends, peers, classmates, not anyone – is living the freedom within you. Frankly, deep inside, I think that’s what most men and women want – a life of freedom. And they can have it…with just a little courage.